What I Hate About Church Part II

When I was in college, we would have chapel everyday.  Think about that.  We have already determined that church can suck, imagine having to endure that possibility everyday.  I’d like to say that 3 or 4 out of five services were great. I’d like to say that but I’m trying not to lie on this blog.  No, if we got one great chapel a week, I was thrilled.  Typically, not only were they boring and predictable, they were weird.  Put a hundred and fifty bible school students in one room, engender an emotional response, and – PRESTO – you have the formula for craziness.

 

    My favorite example of this, and the reason I cannot eat pumpernickel bread to this day, were our communion chapels.  In an attempt to get creative (perhaps some folks should disregard yesterday’s post), the faculty would forgo serving the Lord’s Supper in the traditional manner and would ask students to take it together, the caveat being that the person you chose to share the bread and wine with was someone that you were offended by.  The thinking behind it was praise worthy.  What an excellent way to create student unity!  The execution, however, left something to be desired…especially for me.

 

    Now, I know that this will be hard to believe, but your humble narrator has managed to offend a time or too.  Or fourteen.  Let’s just say that I quickly learned that my unique sense of humor and penchant for saying what I think was not very appreciated at school.  Communion chapels meant a line (I wish I was exaggerating), a literal line of people, wanting to share a piece of bread (the aforementioned pumpernickel…shudder!), a shot of grape juice, and a healthy dose of personal commentary for yours truly.  Apparently, the communion elements lent them a little courage and I routinely started hearing comments like, “I think you’re arrogant” and “I really don’t like you” and “I don’t see you ever being successful in ministry” at which point, we would partake of the sacrament and they would leave feeling better.

 

    I hated those chapels! (go figure) and it became for me a representation of something that I cannot stand about church: it’s judgmental nature!  Where else can you go and have total strangers tell you how much you suck at life?  I’m not talking about a convicting message or an invited opinion that you have sought out from a pastor.  No, I’m talking about people that you see once a week who think they have the spiritual right to sit in judgment of your life.  At this stage of my life, when I find myself confronted by attitudes like this, I am simply disappointed.  We could be so much more.  But those who don’t know Christ, who may be searching for this good news that we are advertising, might walk away permanently offended.   Something’s gotta change.

 

    The problem is, one of the reasons to assemble together is to challenge one another to live like God wants.  The Bible even encourages us to share our failings with one another in order to overcome them. (James 5:16)  Accountability and integrity are partially developed by allowing someone to get all up in our biz-natch.  Frankly, we cannot hope to grow spiritually unless we allow other followers of Jesus to challenge us in our pursuit of right living.  But how do we do this without creating an environment of judgment?

 

    One of our core values at The Open Source Church is Community.  We are working hard to establish something that is more than a weekly religious experience.  We want to be a community of people that are involved in each other’s lives, to be there to offer love, support, a shoulder to cry on, and yes, the occasional kick in the butt if needed.  In order to accomplish that, we have to take the time to get to know each other.  I may not like it when a friend calls me out on some bad behavior, but they have earned the right to do so through relationship and I will consider what they say.  The same right must be earned in our community.  Accountability and the right to speak correction is earned through relationship, not granted simply through attendance.  We want to see people be what God imagined for them and, at times, that means challenging them towards holiness.  But love, grace, and friendship always come first.  And that doesn’t suck.

Comments

[Jason]

Ha, dude! I totally forgot about those services. I don't think I ever participated... I cant for the life of me remember either end of that encounter. Maybe I always had to use the restroom during that part of the service. I do remember the 150 emotional bible students in a room - the rhyming prophecies and the prophetic songs sung with gusto, off key...

Good blog bro, sounds like you are cultivating a great atmosphere for believers to grow! Bless ya man.

[heather roberts]

soooo true! thanks for sharing this!

[Mike]

Hello, I believe you have some very valid complaints about "church services" or "programs" but your terminology is a little disturbing. You say that there are things about the church that you 'hate', or that 'suck' I would only suggest that you be a bit more sensitive to the "Church". when using this name loosely, you are referring to the "Bride of Christ" that Jesus was willing to die for. I dont know about you, but if someone talked about my wife like that I would get a little testy! I think I understand what you mean, but the title threw me off a little! Blessings...

[Heath Goodson]

Aaron, I don't often post on your blog and I apologize for that as I always like when people post on my blog. But, as you know, I grew up in church with my father as a pastor, at age 17 joined you at Bible College, at age 21 (what were they thinking?!) became a youth pastor and did that for 8 years. Upon leaving vocational ministry I promptly decided that a lot about church does suck and I hated a lot of Christians and most American churches. God has brought me, in the last 7 years to a place where I can understand that those things I hated and thought sucked were the very things he was probably thinks (I like to think God uses words like hate and suck but I'll substitute here for the sake of those that don't think He does) are "less desirable" and "disappointing" and reminded me that he still loves them and I need to also. However, all that happened was other Christians attacked me for my feelings. I appreciate reading your blogs and wish you had done this about 6 years ago (not 7 cause I enjoyed wallowing in hatred for a year) because it would have helped me understand that the principles were necessary and pointed me towards fulfilling them properly and perhaps I would have found the fantastic community I'm in now, earlier www.fusionchurch.com

Thanks Aaron